Donald Trump, Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna, and Chutzpah

Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna
(1794 - 1876)
Chutzpah is defined as unusual and shocking behavior involving taking risks and not feeling any sense of guilt about one's actions. It is impudence to the nth degree. Here is an example of Chutzpah.

A little old lady sold pretzels on a street corner for 25 cents each.Every day a young man would leave his office building at lunch time, and as he passed the pretzel stand, he would leave her a quarter, but never take a pretzel. This went on for more than 3 years. The two of them never spoke. One day, as the young man passed the old lady's stand and left his quarter as usual, the pretzel lady spoke to him. Without blinking an eye she said: "They're 35 cents now."

This is not unlike Donald Trump speaking at a political rally the other day declaring himself a "victim". It seems Mr. Trump somehow has turned chutzpah into a perverted form of charisma.
If ever a mexican man utilized chutzpah, it was Antonio López de Santa Anna, the patron devil of Mexico. This man, a general, emperor, and dictator once said "Were I made God, I should wish to be something more." As one can see his egoism was as great yet a little fancier than that of Donald Trump. He was 5'10", tall for a Mexican, and when young cut a striking figure. Later his high high brow gave his head the look of an upside down "bule".

  

     

His career in politics was more memorable as being a comedy of the absurd as his political life repeatedly passed through a revolving door between exile and rule. He called himself the "Napoleon of the West". In fact the mexican general was a devout reader of napoleonic biographies and an avid collector of napoleonic artifacts. Portraits of the french emperor adorned the walls of his estates, and his military regiments sported uniforms inspired by the french Army. Having seen a portrait of Napoleon riding heroically ahead of his troops, Santa Anna decided to also lead his troops from the front, and he mimicked his hero’s tactics, even making his troops march in the same manner as Napoleon’s army, down to the precise inch. When Santa Anna sought to mirror Napoleon’s sweep across Europe in his brutal offensive against the Texas rebels in 1836, however, he encountered the same disastrous fate suffered by his idol in his Russian campaign of 1812. He fought more battles than Napoleon and George Washington combined, yet he lost pretty much all of them. He was the man responsible for the deaths of Jim Bowie and Davy Crockett and everyone else at "The Battle of The Alamo",, and it was the general who twice lost great portions of Mexico in wars with Texas and the United States. Texans, Arizonians, Californians, Coloradians, Nevadians, Utahians, and some in Wyoming and New Mexico are indebted to his ineptness.

Santa Anna placed himself above his own people. He said "A hundred years to come my people will not be fit for liberty… a despotism is the proper government for them, but there is no reason why it should not be a wise and virtuous one." It might have been said by Machiavelli. The last part of this sentence however was something he would never achieve.

Santa Anna was born in Jalapa, Veracruz, in 1794. Deciding on a military career, he became an infantry cadet at age sixteen.He began his military career ruthlessly fighting indigenous uprisings. He began as an officer in the War of Independence from Spain as a loyalist,,, then when he caught scent of defeat he switched sides supporting the rebel Augustin Iturbide, who became dictator and who Santa Anna would eventually overthrow. He changed colors like a chameleon.

In 1829, a year of fame and triumph for the General, Spain tried a reconquest of Mexico. After the Spanish forces arrived in Tampico they were devastated by disease. Santa Anna was sent to Tampico to save the republic. There a large force of sick spanish soldiers had amassed ready to surrender. They soon capitulated and at once Santa Anna declared himself The Hero of Tampico. This simple act of self aggrandizement was his moment of triumph and became the perpetual ticket of fame that allowed him to re-emerge from well deserved banishment and take control over and over again. The Hero of Tampico became president in 1831 but promptly turned over administrative duties to his liberal vice president, Valentín Gómez Farías who took over the day to day activities of president. Farias started to institute liberal reforms like reducing the power of the clergy and the mexican army. Meanwhile Santa Anna was continually partying at his hacienda at Magna de Clavo, near Veracruz, enjoying cockfights, bullfights and fathering illegiimate children. He let Gomez Farias manage the government yet all the while he sifted the air for where the next move might be made. When the time was right he engineered Gomez Farias's ouster, abolished the constitution, and all the liberal reforms.

Then in 1836 he tackled Texas,, the rebel former mexican state. Everything was going great, burning the countryside and killing off everyone in the Alamo. Then came the battle of San Jacinto where Santa Anna was literally caught napping in the shade without guards. He was captured and Texas was his ransom handsomely paid. Returning to Mexico in disgrace, he sulkily retired to his hacienda for more fun and games.

Another opportunity to shine came in 1838 in the form of The Pastry War with France. It began over the complaint from a french baker in Mexico who claimed to have had his bakery ransacked in the tumultuous time after Independence from Spain. Remontel, the baker, couldn't get compensation from the Mexican government so he appealed to France. France responded with a war in his honor. The French were upset over unpaid debts incurred during the Texas campaign and spied an opportunity to expand their territorial horizons with a weakened Mexico. The Pastry War was a pre pretext for French colonialism and had nothing whatsoever to do with any stolen crescent rolls. Santa Anna was dragged willingly from his hacienda once again to repel the French. At first he drove the foreigners back to the coast but as he galloped towards what was sure success a cannonade ofin Vera Cruz. After he once again had assumed the presidency in 1842, Santa Anna exhumed his shriveled leg, paraded it to Mexico City in an ornate coach and buried it beneath a cemetery monument in an elaborate state funeral that included cannon salvos, poetry and lofty orations. Santa Anna’s severed leg did not remain in the ground for long, however. In 1844, public opinion turned on the president, and rioters tore down his statues and dug up his leg. A mob tied the severed appendage to a rope and dragged it through the streets of Mexico City while shouting, “Death to the cripple!”

The other leg: During the Mexican American War Santa Anna's prosthetic leg was stolen by North American soldiers. In the 1847 Battle of Cerro Gordo the 4th Illinois Infantry surprised Santa Anna, who hastily fled on horsebak leaving his prosthetic leg behind. It now rests in Illinois State Military Museum. The Mexican government has repeatedly petioned for the return of the prize but to no avail. Why mexicans would even want the infamous cork and wood appendage is a mystery.

 
   Santa Anna's Leg in Illinois

     

The Pastry War was finally settled with Mexico paying France their debt of $600,000 pesos and also rebuilding Remontel's bakery for the hefty sum in those days of $60,000 pesos. The leg, however, as a result of Santa Anna's own self promotion, became the symbol of The General's sacrifice for his country and led to him retaking power in 1841. At this time he declared himself dictator and went on a personal spending spree that would bankrupt the government coffers. The corruption of all his pals, called santanistas, was unbearable for the country. He was ousted in a rebellion and took to the hills of Vera Cruz. However he was soon discovered and banished to Cuba forbidden to reenter Mexico for 10 years.

In 1848 just 7 years later while he was in Cuba, itching to get back to the homeland and stir things up, he began secretly communicating with president Polk in the United States convincing Polk (this guy must have been a charmer) that HE, only Santa Anna, was capable of resolving the brewing Mexican American War. The exiled General immediately headed to Washington DC and offered his services to American President James K. Polk, asking Polk for the opportunity to travel to Mexico City and help broker peace between Mexico and the U.S. Polk, the hayseed, agreed, and sent Santa Anna to Mexico in American warships. When the good general arrived he was immediately given full command of the Mexican Army and he prepared for a full-scale war with the United States which was nearly won by Mexico but in the end cost Mexico half of their territory. The Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo which formed the cessation of mexican territory to the US had an enormous effect on the history of Mexico. Partly because of the loss of vast and valuable territories, the treaty ensured that Mexico would remain an underdeveloped country well into the twentieth century. Mexico still views this treaty as a bitter lesson in U.S. agression.
Mexico, however, was not through with calling back to arms their fallen General. I don't quite know what officials were thinking. Track records seemed to be meaningless,,, a little like Donald Trump's endless lies, transgressions, and aggressions which seem to immediately dissipate into a murky sea of forgetfulness.
     After the Mexican American War Santa Anna was exiled to Jamaica. Later he moved to Colombia but he was invited back for eleventh time to take the helm in Mexico by conservatives who had overthrown the government. This reign lasted until 1855, when Santa Anna sold New Mexico and Arizona to the United States to pay off some of his debts. This and endless corruption got him exiled for the final time, although he did spend the rest of his life trying to get back for a twelfth time to see what else he might lose. One particularly-hilarious instance of this came after the French had re-invaded and conquered Mexico in 1863. With the Mexican people clamoring for aid, Santa Anna nobly approached the United States and offered his services in leading a force to re-take Mexico and throw out the French invaders. He conveniently failed to mention to Abraham Lincoln that he had also sent a secret letter to the Maximilian offering his now "royalist" services to help keep the Mexicans subjugated under French rule. No one took the bait this time.

In 1869, the 74-year-old Santa Anna was living in exile in, believe it or not, Staten Island, New York, and was trying to raise money for an army to return and take over Mexico City. However while on "the island", he became involved in an interesting import. He is credited with bringing to the U.S. the first shipments of chicle, the base of chewing gum. His plan was to use the chicle to replace rubber in carriage tires, which was tried without success, yet Thomas Adams, an American inventor close to Santa Anna couldn't do much with the tire idea but he went on to invent the chewing gum called Chiclets.


A mouthful 'o' chiclets


Santa Anna did return one last time to Mexico in 1874 amidst a general amnesty. He was sick and almost blind but the king of Impudence had one more request. He demanded from the government an enormous pension of course well deserved for his past services to and sacrifices for the nation. He died in Mexico City on July 20th 1876.