Sunday, May 19, 2024

Brief Thoughts On The New World Order

     He had written in his journal: Itseems no one wants to examine an issue anymore. The bulk of modern dialogue is indebted to the pursuit of a perfectly blissful consumerism. Talk has finally become very cheap. Dialogue has been either sanitized or dulled supporting a pogrom of reason. The function of modern conversation is to maintain social harmony. The media consciously has created a non evaluative audience that now after much propagandizing cannot tell the difference between a sneaker and an elephant.Everything is infinitely relative therefore anything is possible, and  nothing ever is resolved. We have achieved the negation of sensibility.  Conversation is certainly not to enlighten or to barter real ideas. Empty coined phrases are endlessly repeated until they have become accepted fashion. Nowadays sentences contain a bare minimum of words, with no chance of ever framing a complete idea. In fact conversations don’t involve the exchange of ideas at all. Dialogue has been  exchanged for repetitions over pricey coffee and baguettes at a table too small to fit the two in conversation all clothed in carefully chosen brands, chit chatting about the state of the latest idle rumor that is nothing more than vacuous babel gossip about some star’s choice of clothes, or the very latest in consumerism. “Gail have you seen the new Giuseppi Oraomai collection sling backs at Sole Music in the Olde Slough Mall?”      
     Then there is the modern communiqué issued in the media first, then repeated by the faithful. Prevailing bulletins require subtitles for interpretation because the true meaning is buried within a carefully selected string of authorized lies. “Josh we must bring democracy to Iraq.” The subtitle is: “We need to eliminate all perceived enemies of the state by any means possible.”  Or, “Brad,CDO's are the most important modern financial tool for stemming risk. The subtitle: “Thank God they have finally invented a form of Lucrative Latin that cannot be interpreted, only ignored.”  
    Then he added: And the greed, like a sweet salsa. Even the supposed devout are marinated in avarice without any moral goals. Isn’t “me-ism” proof that the real focus is on the crassness of the world and not in anything spiritual. People will contaminate the sacred planet, or step on another for a nickel, a dollar, five thousand dollars, even a camera pointed in their direction,,more, or less, but what does it matter,for it is not the amount, it is the diminishing of thanksgiving. 

Tuesday, November 7, 2023

Confessions, A Movie For No Season,, Or Reason

     A few days ago I went to see the movie, Confesiones directed by Carlos Carrera who also directed El Crimen del Padre Amaro. I really didn't know anything about the film or what to expect which is many times the best way to approach a cinematic work. Innocent and open to suggestion. Almost the entire movie takes place within a rather cold upper middleclass house in Mexico City and revolves around what seems at first to be the kidnapping of the family's young daughter. Very soon it is revealed that this is not a kidnapping but a "psychological thriller" about revenge. The family, son, wife, and father are actually the ones sequestered until a confession is extracted from each at the point of a gun. Seems unreasonable doesn't it? The gunman kidnapper takes on the role of a twisted facilitator of revelations that seem to flow much too easily from the father and the wife.The son, although more belligerent eventually succumbs to his exposure as a hypocrite homosexual. Early on the gunman's identity is revealed when the family rebels enough to almost end the thing with a scuffle but then it quickly settles back again into a disfiguring therapy in the round. I asked myself why the gunman knew so many intimate details about these people where was the natural resistance to this farcical reunion of what turned out to be neighbors. I didn't expect heroism just more resistance to the premise. The armed facilitator was like a priest who recognized his confessors as the  congregation's hypocrites who march to the front pew each Sunday so as to be seen by all as  the best of the litter and instead of a bag full of Ave Marias or Padre Nuestros he doles out real pain,humiliation, and destruction. 

     After each confession came a penance, father, son, and wife in order. Each is gruesome and unecessarily graphic. Most modern movies require you to check your brain in the glove compartment before you enter the theatre and this one is no different. Perhaps it is the large screen format that compels one to let go of reason and enter the land where the fantastical rules. As each raw penance progressed the director revealed his own prejudices against the apparently successful in today's society. His moral should be Behind Every Fortune Is A Crime, or Behind Every House Masquerading As A Home In Polanco Is A Hopeless Ball Of Lies. Both those statements are truethful but Carrera handles them employing senseless viceral detail. As the wife's sick penance concludes the audience may think the gunman has exacted what he wants and te entire farce will close out but no he is saving the  best for last,,, the real conclusion/justification for this theatre of the deranged. Dad has one more confession to deliver, a great unveiling and betrayal. He recounts the molestation of the gunman's daughter in detail which he delivers without resistance and with increasing delight as if he were telling the tale of a picnic in the park on a perfect day. What is his penance? Dismemberment with an electric steak knife which he accepts without protest. Can that be real? I laughed to myself when the gunman reached into the kitchen drawer and pulled out the battery powered knife. He hit the button and it buzzed, like a  reciprocating saw as I thought to myself better hurry up before the battery runs out. Pop then lops off his manhood in graphic detail as the family looks on. As the husband lies in one of those increasing cinematic pools of blood we see the wife looking down on him and derisively saying she would not call an ambulance. This was becoming a satirical comedy before my eyes. There was no humanity to be found anywhere. Could it get any more absurd? I thought of the movies of old like Macario, Los Olvidados, and Treasure of Sierra Madre that used inuendo instead of sledgehammers and always left us with words to remember. I don't even remember what paintings were hanging on the wall of the house that served as the stage. There was no sympathy created for any of the characters including the gunman even though his daughter had been violated and traumatized. This is the modern movie devoid of any sense. The very devolution in which we live.  


     Hace unos días fui a ver la película Confesiones dirigida por Carlos Carrera quien también dirigió El Crimen del Padre Amaro. Realmente no sabía nada sobre la película ni qué esperar, que es muchas veces la mejor manera de abordar una obra cinematográfica. Inocente y abierto a sugerencias. Casi toda la película se desarrolla en una casa bastante fría de clase media alta en la Ciudad de México y gira en torno a lo que al principio parece ser el secuestro de la pequeña hija de la familia. Muy pronto se revela que no se trata de un secuestro sino de un "thriller psicológico" sobre venganza. La familia, el hijo, la esposa y el padre son en realidad los que están secuestrados hasta que se extrae una confesión de cada uno a punta de pistola. Parece irrazonable ¿no? El secuestrador y pistolero asume el papel de un retorcido facilitador de revelaciones que parecen fluir con demasiada facilidad del padre y la esposa. El hijo, aunque más beligerante, finalmente sucumbe a su exposición como un homosexual hipócrita. Al principio, la identidad del pistolero se revela cuando la familia se rebela, aunque sin éxito, para casi terminar la cosa con una pelea, pero luego rápidamente vuelve a convertirse en una terapia desfigurante en la ronda. Me pregunté por qué el pistolero conocía tantos detalles íntimos sobre estas personas y dónde estaba la resistencia natural a esta reunión ridícula de lo que resultaron ser vecinos. No esperaba heroísmo, sólo más resistencia a la premisa. El facilitador armado era como un sacerdote que reconocía a sus confesores como los hipócritas de la congregación que cada domingo marchan al primer banco para ser vistos por todos como los mejores de la camada y en lugar de una bolsa llena de Ave Marías o Padre Nuestros reparte verdadero dolor, humillación y destrucción.


      Después de cada confesión venía una penitencia, padre, hijo y esposa en orden. Cada uno es espantoso e innecesariamente gráfico. La mayoría de las películas modernas requieren que revises tu cerebro en la guantera antes de entrar al cine y esta no es diferente. Quizás sea el gran formato de pantalla lo que obliga a dejar de lado la razón y adentrarse en el terreno donde manda lo fantástico. A medida que avanzaba cada cruda penitencia, el director revelaba sus propios prejuicios contra los aparentemente exitosos en la sociedad actual. Su moraleja debería ser Detrás de cada fortuna hay un crimen, o Detrás de cada casa disfrazada de hogar en Polanco hay una bola de mentiras desesperada. Ambas afirmaciones son ciertas, pero Carrera las maneja empleando detalles virreales sin sentido. A medida que concluye la enfermiza penitencia de la esposa, el público puede pensar que el pistolero ha exigido lo que quiere y toda la farsa terminará, pero no, él está guardando lo mejor para el final... la verdadera conclusión/justificación de este teatro de los trastornados. Papá tiene una confesión más que entregar, una gran revelación y traición. Narra en detalle el abuso sexual sufrido por la hija del pistolero, sin resistencia y con creciente deleite, como si estuviera contando la historia de un picnic en el parque en un día perfecto. ¿Cuál es su penitencia? Desmembramiento con un cuchillo eléctrico para carne que acepta sin protestar. ¿Puede ser eso real? Me reí para mis adentros cuando el pistolero metió la mano en el cajón de la cocina y sacó el cuchillo a batería. Presionó el botón y zumbó, como una sierra alternativa, mientras pensé que sería mejor darme prisa antes de que se agote la batería. Luego, Pop corta su virilidad con detalles gráficos mientras la familia observa. Mientras el marido yace en uno de esos crecientes charcos de sangre cinematográficos, vemos a la esposa mirándolo y burlonamente diciendo que no llamaría a una ambulancia. Esto se estaba convirtiendo ante mis ojos en una comedia satírica. No se podía encontrar humanidad en ninguna parte. ¿Podría ser más absurdo? Pensé en las películas antiguas como Macario, Los Olvidados y El tesoro de Sierra Madre, que usaban inuendos en lugar de mazos y siempre nos dejaban palabras para recordar. Ni siquiera recuerdo qué cuadros colgaban de la pared de la casa que servía de escenario. No se creó ninguna simpatía por ninguno de los personajes, incluido el pistolero, a pesar de que su hija había sido violada y traumatizada. Ésta es la película moderna carente de todo sentido. La propia devolución en la que vivimos.

Monday, November 6, 2023

Refrigerator Soup, The Case For Wonder, And Math,

 

     Emmanuel Kant claimed the world we experience is chaotic and we become thinking organisms at the moment we attempt to make sense of it. What does he mean by chaos? The world is a complicated place. Our loves, our work, nature, and our social network to name a few form the problematic landscape in which we live. The moment we decide to make sense of this unsettled world entering through our senses we begin a voyage of reason, the highest endeavor for Kant. Reason seeks to organize the chaos  Although It is quite satisfying to scrutinize and search for answers, the act of reasoning cannot always claim success. We may more often than not be left incomplete even as we are creating a path through the vast jungle. However there are those that employ reason yet have learned they cannot process everything into well groomed interpretations, so they choose to live as partners in orbit with chaos. The Myth of Sisyphus by Albert Camus is a good example of this. Sisyphus creates his own cosmos out of eternal drudgery. 

     How may we travel through this world? Perhaps like those so fettered by materialism they can't help but see the world as an unconcious heap or we can go forth with less ambition and more flexibility, annointing the world with other values. We may choose to clear a rifle barrel straight swath, or pursue a less invasive convoluted route. Either manner of travel presents us with choices but choices can be converted into whims and those inclinations may eliminate mountains. The consciously chosen discursive route will uncover nuances that an already attentive state of mind is poised to scrutinize. Our conclusions may not coincide with the world view, in fact we may see the truth indirectly, from the corner of our eye without fully understanding it yet instinctively know it makes sense. However there may be no place in the world for a dreamer. To be able to take one's time is a golden state of being. The straight line path will arrive on time. After all time is money. Perhaps, as Ennio Flaiano said, "The shortest distance between two points is an arabesque", poking fun at the straight liners at the same time eulogizing the delicacy of twirling tendrils.  

     The meandering path has a better chance to teach us why consideration is so important.  We are prevented from seeing all that is ahead by a sinuous road.  A human baby's growth is painfully slow compared to other species, rich in natural curiosity and heavy on observation liberated from time, a little like the game of baseball. That extended childhood, if one has been lucky enough to have had a childhood in this epoch of uniformity sold as diversity, one should have enhanced the mind's eye. Let's say you are in a valley and focus on a large, tree up there on the high ridge as your goal and, if you have the time to pass, you may assume an erratic path, from time to time consciously checking the location of your tree, yet frequently pausing to explore deadfalls which become godheads, a shaft of golden sun, or the call of an an unseen bird that gives depth to the woods. You will eventually arrive at your tree,, meanwhile having lost yourself in wanderous wonder you  may arrive with a bonus bag full of wild mushrooms. Humans, not fettered with time constraints, have a better opportunity to explore experience because they are able to caress it. I know I may seem to be making a case against bulldozers and canalization. A world full of only wonderers and the vast cereal aisle in in the supermarket will disappear.  

     Monday to Friday. A period of time. The refrigerator, a cubic space with accumulated things in it. What to do? It's time to make refrigerator soup! That's it. At the end of the week open the fridge and examine the contents. Place it all before you then use your intuition to combine what is at your disposal? Cull what doesn't serve. Perhaps use the rejected items for a side dish or dessert but you have at your disposal a generous basket of ingredients in disarray. You stop to consider the culinary combinations and cooking sequences. Garlic and ice cream don't mix well. What does? Figure it out. Finally chef out an ecclectic soup. We might create a delicious meal out of what just before existed in space and time as future compost, accumulated during a week's time, a chaotic mix of things at rest, in a cold box made of sheet metal already innoculated with bacteria that cried out organization, and deserved consideration. Before and after, now and then, are all individual moments that we have separated by our intuition yet we go a step further and create a stability from the clutter. We have learned to separate space and time experience by organizing it. The space, if you will, is the ecclectic mix of things in the refrigerator and the time is what it takes to cobble a passable meal. That is a true philosophers stone. 

     The world of the senses is our swimming hole. We may dive into the cold clear watery silence scanning the bottom for signs of life similar to yet unlike us. We may roll over directing our gaze upward piercing the surface of the pool to see a rippled distorted sky. We emerge, and sit on a billion year old stone that has seen it all but seems mute. Water droplets are suspended on our skin like blisters. A garter snake slithers into the burr reeds. We wonder how it propels itself. Orioles lite on a scruffy patch of alders appearing and disappearing within its confines. The sound of the wind whispers through the pines like gossip. A dragonfly hovers  on patrol seeing a world we cannot. Life embraces us as we begin to ponder and parse its mysteries.

      This is the world of the senses, the world of experience. Mathematics however is an example of something not derived from experience according to many philosophers. It exists apart from the world of rivers, and trees, and hummingbirds. Math proves there is a world of concepts that survive in a non-material environment, like invisible fruit. As a philosopher once  said, "God is a mathematician", the ephemeral well  from which we draw water, to feed our thirst for explanations. Pythagorus said God is a geometer not an algebraist. He felt the magic coincidences angles and shapes pointed to God. Numbers seem to breathe the same air as spirit.  Within the world of the senses we see a hummingbird and form a concept that is portable within us, but I bet Z=Z(2)+C could explain its wing rotation. Math is the numerical expression of the vast universe with all its mysteries. What we don't yet know, and may never know, exists within an organization of numerical phrasing that is the world of experience. The universe provokes a mathematician, and he gazes into his numerical microscope to see. Numbers have a unique capacity to explain intricacies of the universe. The poet on the other hand has an indirect way of seeing:

I heard a Fly buzz - when I died -

The Stillness in the Room

Was like the Stillness in the Air -

Between the Heaves of Storm -



The Eyes around - had wrung them dry -

And Breaths were gathering firm

For that last Onset - when the King

Be witnessed - in the Room -



I willed my Keepsakes - Signed away

What portion of me be

Assignable - and then it was

There interposed a Fly -



With Blue - uncertain - stumbling Buzz -

Between the light - and me -

And then the Windows failed - and then

I could not see to see -

      A concept is how we align the endless parade of experience, how we separate the sense from the internal shimmering thought about it. If we go a step further we can make it myth.

One leaf is for fame,
And one leaf is for wealth,
And one is for a faithful lover,
And one to bring you glorious health,
Are all in the four-leaved clover.

 Hummingbirds are a symbol of good luck. Without this desire to fiddle with the world of sense the journey remains inanimate, dull, like the sound of an aluminum coin on a table. Does that mean we are each our own God? I think so as long as it doesn't go to our heads.

    

Friday, October 13, 2023

El Tornado

 

The Tornado

      Whenever it seemed the art shows became repetitious and unprofitable Matt thought of Derwood. Derwood was fifth generation in Waldo. He had worked his entire life in Hodges’s sawmill in Waldo, Maine and when finally after hobbling along for years it closed Derwood’s dinghy was set adrift. Derwood was somewhere between slow and retarded but possessed the capacity to count lumber. It had been required in school, to know how to figure how many board feet there were in a piece of wood. That was his one skill,, along with honesty and with diligence in his work. In 1985 in Waldo, Maine with its 770 people Derwood had become obsolete and was tossed upon the scrap heap. Too young yet for social security Derwood could be found about the village doing odd jobs of a brutish nature for little money, like digging post holes in the hard clay or even bailing out old septic tanks with a bucket. After the mill closed his old house began to visibly deteriorate, as if it had contracted a form of leprosy. Derwood could no longer afford the upkeep. First the front stairs rotted away then a corner of the porch fell to the ground. What was left was supported precariously by some withering 2X4’s. Eventually even smoke ceased swirling out of his chimney. He was from another generation, much too proud to ask for help. Even when it was offered he would adamantly refuse.   

     Matt recalled one morning leaving his house perched on Capitol Hill on his cross country skis making his way for Chase Stream. It was a frigid winter morning and there was a shallow lake of ice fog suspended above the snow. Ice fog is made up of suspended ice crystals. It only occurs when temperatures fall below -22 degrees Fahrenheit. When Matt left his house at 9:00 AM the thermometer on the porch registered -28. The temperature had fallen suddenly in the wee hours of morning. He had felt the cold creep into bed beside him. Last night when it was warmer , the air must have become saturated with water vapor from the snow, then when the cold snap came down like a hammer conditions were too cold for liquid water to exist, and small ice crystals developed creating the eerie fog. He skied down through Levi Gordon’s fields entering the forest where the woods began. There was an opening in the fence next to ‘barrel spring’. It was called barrel spring because long ago someone had interred a barrel without a bottom in the earth about the vein. As he emerged from the woods he spied Derwood embedded in the brume on the other side of the Bog Road. He was splitting wood in front of the house of Eben Gould. Durwood stood in front of a haphazardly piled cord of some of the largest knarliest elm Matt had ever seen. Gould was notorious for paying little and spending even less. He had hired Derwood to split this impossible wood its grain tightly aligned like frozen whorls of smoke. Derwood’s breath mixed with the fog in which he waded. His bore two sweat shirts under a ragged jacket and his traditional watch cap. The cuffs of his sleeves hung down in tattered strands. He had no gloves,, probably couldn’t afford them thought Matt. He came down upon the elm with a wallop with his double bitted axe only to plant the axe deeply into the twisted elm grain. It was slow difficult work and no doubt Derwood was desperate to have it and had most likely contracted to split the cord for a set fee. Even a hydraulic wood splitter would have had problems with this pile of elm. Matt was sure Gould had made a great bargain for himself. Derwood stopped and looked up at Matt knowing it would cost some work to extract the axe.

     “Matthew”, Derwood said, always using the full name of anyone he addressed. How be you this cold morning.”

     “Fine Derwood, fine,, and you?” Matt spoke the words knowing that Derwood was anything less than fine.

     “Aww, I’m afraid Matthew that I’m between a rock and a hard place.”

     “You don’t have any gloves, Derwood”, asked Matt.

     “No Matthew they won’t let me get a good purchase on the axe handle.”

     Eben emerged from his house and stared at the two with an impatient look. He didn’t speak but Matt knew that his demeanor was saying get back to work and you on the skis, be on your way.

     “Well take care of yourself Derwood and remember to slab it off the edge.”

     “Thank yee Matthew and Godspeed”, said Derwood.

     Eben watched with narrowed eyes as Matt continued on his way.

     At some point during the physical deterioration of his house Derwood and his wife disappeared from view. It was February and no one had seen Derwood or his wife about town for a week. His nephew was dispatched to the house and after heavy knocking could elicit no response.  With difficulty he entered. The porch was treacherous, and the door had been skewed into a parallelogram. Once inside the nephew found a shocking sight. Most of the floor was dry rotted and had fallen into the shallow basement. He saw Derwood and his wife on a small section of floor still in its place. They lie there like two frosted dolls, side by side, frozen to death.

     That memory always rattled Matt’s soul enough to easily shake off any arrogance that might creep into his thoughts. Matt’s life was a cakewalk because he had what he needed and in addition the gift of time. Jesus I am farting through silk he thought. He was in Catskill, New York at the annual Jefferson Heights Art and Craft Fair. It had begun as a pure art show but now twenty-five years after the first fair crafts represented more than 75% of the exhibitors. Many artists had grumbled about this trend in the outdoor shows but Matt felt it had actually worked out positively for him. There were less overall art exhibitors and therefore less competition. He only worried about the future when shows might become exclusively crafts. It seemed to be the trend.  However he had made some money after spending three long days in Catskill, but not like in years past.  The crowd had been small and the movement was interminably slow. This was the first year the promoters had charged admission and that made a visible difference in the quantity of clients. The Greed Factor times the law of entropy was work.

     It was Sunday about 5:30 on a balmy summer afternoon. The show had ended and Matt had broken down and stored his booth in his Van. Veronica Carlisle, an old friend, and his neighbor for three days was still meticulously packing her melted glass objects. He lingered a little talking to her while she worked. Claps of thunder could be heard as the sky to the east began turning gray.

     “Better hurry up Vero or everything is gonna get wet.”

     “Don’t fret Matty, I’m nearly there. You should go you have a lot further to travel than I.”

     Matt made his goodbyes, giving Veronica a good hug and took off up Route 9G heading north parallel to the Hudson River. At Hudson he turned to the east on 23 heading for the Massachusetts border. He crossed over just after Hillsdale, New York when the route number changed to 41. The destination was Great Barrington where he would continue north and meet the Massachusetts Turnpike. Just after South Egremont and before Great Barrington a heavy rain began to fall, so heavy that the wipers on high couldn’t handle the quantity of water. The patter of the enormous drops on the van roof was deafening like an brigade of energized drummers. The sky had darkened to the color of wet slate as if night were falling. Matt spied his watch and saw it was 6:30 PM. It was summer in the north and darkness didn’t fall until nearly 9:00. This must be a whopper of a storm he thought that turns the day into night. He had slowed considerably, his visibility severely restricted by the rain. In the distance distorted by the heavy rain on the windshield he saw bright tail lights as if there were a line of cars stopped. Matt slowed to a crawl, and then stopped behind a queue of about ten cars. Traffic was stalled. He rolled down his window and asked an officer in a parka what had happened.

     “A tornado just cut a swath through here. You cannot enter Great Barrington it’s a mess.”

     “A tornado,,, in Massachusetts?”, asked Matt incredulous.

     “It was strong enough to tear gravestones from the cemetery and send them flying. It even picked up a Volkswagen with four kids and deposited their bodies about a mile away. Downtown Barrington is a mess, just a tangle of trees and rubble, you can’t pass through there.”

     Matt was stunned. He didn’t even know there could be powerful tornados this far north. He thought of any of the other exhibitors who might have traveled in this direction. If he had not lingered with Veronica he might have driven into this. I must remind myself to kiss her when I see her again. He asked the policeman for an alternate route to the turnpike and was told to retrace his steps and in about a mile he would turn right on the Egremont Plain Road which would take him north into New York once again towards Austerlitz where he would meet up with the turnpike.

     The dark slate sky had turned to a lighter shade of gray but the sunlight that filtered through it was combed slightly orange. He made the New York border quickly and a few miles before Austerlitz he encountered a strange intersection, where the path taken by the tornado had crossed perpendicular to the highway.

     He paused on the empty highway, mists from the rain emmanating from the hot earth suspended in the air like unspun wool. “It passed here”, he said aloud. There was a wide path resembling the initial clearing for a new highway, about 50 yards wide beginning abruptly like someone had laid down a chalk line. All the trees within the aisle had been plucked of all their leaves. Only in this particular track, like an erratic band that trailed off towards the horizon on either side of the road it seemed like autumn. On the left was a house squashed flat as if stepped on by a giant. Delicately leaning upright precariously propped against the pile of rubble was a large maple with an enormous crown of bare branches shorn of all their leaves. Thirty minutes ago it had been a shade tree. What was remarkable was that the roots were still in the ground untouched. The tree had not been uprooted. The wind had torn the trunk off where it met the ground, lifting the weight of the entire tree then depositing it twenty feet away, upright alongside the house to which it once offered shade. It was a surreal painting. Matt turned his head to the other side of the road. There were high bushes.Trimming the thicket of bare branches and trailingoff perpendicular to the ground were sashes of fiberglass insulation sucked from the squashed house, all extending in one direction like frozen ribbons.

     By 8:00 the sky was swathed in charcoal. The heavy rain recommenced. He was west of Springfield and off to his right every two or three seconds the sky was illuminated by enormous streaks of lightning coursing horizontally across the sky in branches,, flashing like a roadmap. With every blazing flash Matt was reminded of how lucky he had been. By the time he made Springfield the sky was tranquill and he felt he had left the worst behind. 

    

    

Thursday, December 8, 2022

The Wedding March o La Marcha Nupcial

      We exited the restaurant onto dimly lit Calle Moctezuma heading west towards Esther's house. She needs assistence now to walk on the narrow uneven sidewalks because her vision is failing. I held her arm as best as possible and warned her of imminent dangers as there are many. I often joke with her about holes and crevices. I place all impediments in the category of "mata suegras". Mother-in-law killers. "Cuidate, esto hoyo no tiene fondo. Es una mata suegra." Circe was leading the way illuminating the sidewalk with her cell phone. Slowly we advanced on the dark street. When we reached Iturbide we noted the sound of music drifting towards us but because Mexico is often alive with sounds my attention was not immediately focused on the origin. Circe commented, "What's that"?  Ten seconds passed and she recognized it as a wedding. I caught a movement in the distance. A wedding I thought,, in the middle of the street? By now the music of a mariachi band became evident. I am at a disadvantage and yet befuddled  by mexican customs. The dimly illuminated street, the mariachi playing El Zopilote Mojado, (The wet Vulture) a glitter in the distance, none of it,  registered wedding in my mind. Although there are 30 churches and chapels in Tenancingo the music was a blocks away from any one of them.

     A procession approached. El Zopilote Mojado marked the cadence. The violin and the drum coupled strongly and the cool december eve claimed a sort of victory. We stopped in a large space between two parked cars.The presentation march tempo called to us, urging us to concur and mark time but this night parade had other intentions. Then she appeared out of the sound and dimness, a bride, a specter of promises adorned like a mariposa blanca gigante in a white batteau gown. I couldn't help but notice her white teeth beaming joy. Wow this is really cool I said. Any custom that stops traffic always excites me. Esther asked me what I just said. "Bien chido," I replied. Satin bows and flowers were tied atop her head and from them cascaded fresh dark curls. I could see her well now. Her skin was a luxurious mexican bronze that a white person would die for or at least attempt to duplicate without success. Bronze mexican skin is lustrous and deep. The groom, a chubby pie faced smiler at her right side, was dressed in black. He looked over at us proudly smiling like a winner as we began to applaud. A young lady, one of the participants, in heels sheathed in a long pink dress adorned with sequins passed unsure of her feet. She glittered like a supernova. We clapped even louder as I could feel my deceased mother's words creep into my head attempting as always to consume this moment of delight. She recited this phrase at all weddings. "I give the marriage a year." With some effort I pushed the words aside and secretly wished the couple a lifetime.  


   Salimos del restaurante a la calle Moctezuma, débilmente iluminada, en dirección oeste hacia la casa de Esther. Ahora necesita ayuda para caminar por las banquetas angostas e irregulares porque su visión está fallando. Sostuve su brazo lo mejor que pude y le advertí de los peligros inminentes ya que hay muchos. A menudo bromeo con ella sobre agujeros y grietas. Considero todos los impedimentos en la categoría de "mata suegras".  "Cuidate, esto hoyo porque no tiene fondo. Es una mata suegra". Parece que le gusta este humor de reproche. Circe iba al frente iluminando el sendero feo con su celular. Lentamente avanzamos por la calle oscura. Cuando llegamos a Iturbide, notamos el sonido de la música que flotaba en el aire de la noche hacia nosotros, pero debido a que México a menudo está lleno de sonidos, mi atención no se centró de inmediato en el origen. Circe comentó: "¿Qué es eso"? Pasaron diez segundos y ella lo reconoció como una boda. Capté un movimiento en la distancia. Una boda pensé, ¿en medio de la calle? A estas alturas se hizo evidente la música de un mariachi. Estoy en desventaja y sin embargo confundido por las costumbres mexicanas. La calle tenuemente iluminada, el mariachi tocando El Zopilote Mojado, un brillo a lo lejos, nada de eso, registró boda en mi mente. Aunque hay 30 iglesias y capillas en Tenancingo la música estaba a una cuadra de cualquiera de ellas.


      Se acercó una procesión. El Zopilote Mojado marcó la cadencia. El violín y el tambor se acoplaron con fuerza y la fresca víspera de diciembre se adjudicó la victoria. Paramos en un amplio espacio entre dos autos estacionados. El tempo de la marcha de presentación nos llamaba, incitándonos a estar de acuerdo y marcar tiempo pero este desfile nocturno tenía otras intenciones. Entonces ella apareció entre el ruido y la penumbra, una novia, un espectro de promesas adornada como una mariposa blanca gigante con un vestido blanco batteau. No pude evitar notar sus dientes blancos radiantes de alegría. Wow, esto es realmente genial, dije. Cualquier costumbre que detenga el tráfico siempre me emociona. Esther me preguntó qué acabo de decir. "Bien chido", respondí. Lazos de raso y flores estaban atados sobre su cabeza y de ellos caían en cascada rizos oscuros y frescos. Ahora podía verla bien. Su piel era de un lujoso bronce mexicano por el que una persona blanca moriría o al menos intentaría duplicarlo. El novio, un regordete cara de pastel sonriente a su derecha, estaba vestido de negro. Nos miró con orgullo sonriendo como un ganador cuando comenzamos a aplaudir. Una joven, una de las participantes, en tacones enfundada en un largo vestido rosa adornado con lentejuelas pasó insegura de sus pies. Ella brillaba como una constelación. Aplaudimos aún más fuerte cuando pude sentir las palabras de mi madre en mi cabeza intentando consumir este momento de deleite. Ella recitaba esta frase en todas las bodas. "Le doy al matrimonio un año". Con algo de esfuerzo, dejé las palabras a un lado y en secreto deseé a la pareja toda la vida.           

Monday, August 22, 2022

A Glory Hole Moment Of Truth

     

     Gas. "Dame mas gasoliiiinna." That song by Daddy Yankee always evokes a nervous chuckle from me.    https://youtu.be/2CiHQpN58Mo     It gives me gas to think about gas,,,, and we have gas problems here with the corrupt gasoline union,, Pemex and their collusion with huachicoleros,,,, those that tap into pipelines and steal gas,,, 12 million liters every day for the last twenty years. Narcos and gangs have been moving in on lucrative gas theft. 

A few years ago this occured in the State of Hidalgo: 

Hundreds of people were killed when a fuel pipeline exploded outside Mexico City, unleashing a massive fireball after frenzied residents tapped into the duct to steal buckets of gasoline, officials said Saturday.The explosion late Friday occurred in the midst of the Mexican government's campaign against oil theft, which costs the country about $3 billion per year. Earlier this month, Mexico's president, Andrés Manuel López Obrador, closed many of the country's pipelines, saddling dozens of cities with an acute gasoline shortage.

As of Saturday morning, Mexican authorities were still searching for missing people at the scene, raising the possibility that the death toll could rise. Many bodies were burned so badly that the victims were unrecognizable.

Videos of the incident show flames leaping roughly 50 feet into the air, as people attempted to carry bodies of the injured away from the conflagration.

    This rant about gas is a reaction to a statement by a family member from the States with three houses, five cars, and a good pension complaining about the price of gas. The disaster mentioned above in Hidalgo brought on by a hysteria for "free" gas is as absurd as my family member's complaint. As"numbing time" ambles onward and like opening up your skull and pouring in glue, we are losing perspective and cannot appreciate the joke. How much is enough? Not everything can be measured by the price of gasoline,,,in fact that concern is just foolish and self-centered. Wether we live in a glut of things or gross insufficiency, what is most important are the ties that bind, the smiles offered on the street, a good conversation laden with understanding, a healthy skepticism, a slowing down, and not in a vehicle, to know your own backyard. What seems like nothing can lead to something! Take what you have gathered from coincidence and run with that apple pie for a while leaving the scent of cinnamon, cloves, and cooked apples for all to inhale. Hold a narrow concern for gas prices, what your house is worth this week, or wether or not the stock market is up which will obscure a potential glory hole moment of truth. The subtitle to all this is a simple, "God I feel like I won something when an orgasm comes from the engagement of the mind which feeds the intellect, which engages the mind, etc. , or the alternative in which you can choose to live a god damn insecure nightmare running scared like a rabbit trying to escape a blue tick hound". 
     Estoy Felice,,,la vida no vale nada sin una meta sencilla (life isn't worth anything without a simple goal). 

Chiapas a Novel Chapter I

 

  

     2003  Before the Avenida Pino Suarez Cleanup

 

 

     In Mexico City the corner of Pino Suarez and Republica De El Salvador is alive with human traffic, like a continuous undulating ribbon of half empty souls. The streets are lined with people selling goods, and tourists edging towards the Zocalo. However all seem oblivious to a deteriorating plaque pegged to the wall on the side of a Church and the Hospital of Jesús Nazareno supposedly marking the spot on the causeway where Hernán Cortés, cocooned in steel, and the feathered Moctezuma II met for the first time in 1519. This plaque marks the most decisive event in the history of the Americas.

     It was Cortés who ordered the hospital built to tend to soldiers wounded fighting with the Mexicas. It is the oldest western hospital in this hemisphere. In fact Cortés' remains were placed in the church section in 1774. At the same time a bust was created of the conquistador. This was highly unusual for there are few memorials to the man who brought the Spanish language, catholicism, social upheaval, and great suffering to Mexico. One time a plaque inside the church indicated the conquiatador’s tomb. However, in August 1882, there was a proposal to move the remains and place them next to those of some of the heroes of Mexican War of Independence, but this caused great clamor. Some even attempted to desecrate the tomb in the church. The remains were discreetly removed to  another site.

     On the opposite side of this famous corner stands El Museo De La Ciudad De Mexico. Originally the museum was a residence constructed in the baroque style of the era for one of Hernán Cortés’s supporters. One corner of the museum has incorporated into its construction the large carved stone head of a serpent salvaged from the conquered city of Tenochitlan . The architectural contrasts are remarkable. The euopean baroque masonry  of rectangular shapes, arches, and walls faced in red lava tiles co-opted from the fallen city itself all now tread upon the head of a wincing snake.

     When Hernan Cortes, the conquistador, and his men entered the city of Tenochitlan for the first time in 1519, it seemed to float upon Lake Texcoco. They were dwarfed by its magnificence. The encounter was recorded in the accounts of Bernal Diaz Del Castillo, a footsoldier in Cortes’ army:

   

      Within the lake of Texcoco and all around its edges were countless dwellings. Three causeways led from the mainland to the island center of the city, and a grid of canals laced the Metropolis. The lake and the canals were filled with canoes and the whole scene was alive with people. (Estimates indicate that the full zone of the city embraced 60,000 dwellings and 300,000 persons. ) When we saw so many cities and villages built in the water and other great towns on dry land we were amazed and said that it was like the enchantments on account of the great towers and cues and buildings rising from the water, and all built of masonry. And some of our soldiers even asked whether the things that we saw were not a dream? I do not know how to describe it, seeing things as we did that had never been heard of or seen before, not even dreamed about.

   

     Cortes returned in1521 and with the help of his multi lingual concubine, Malinche, alliances were formed with tribes that were enemies of the Aztecs, and perhaps with his most important ally, small pox, he advanced on the Empire. Cortes prevailed.      

     During the final seige, Cortes’s army began to systematically level the city in order to create a battlefield cleared of any obstructions. The Spanish destroyed the fresh water aqueduct and slowly advanced tumbling the buildings and filling the canals with their debris as smallpox, that unseen ally, continued to devastate the population. The defeat was nearly complete. All that was remained was used to rebuild a new world order atop the ruins. It was to resemble a classic european city using the very bones of Tenochitlan.
    

    

                         Chiapas

 

     It is said the people of Chiapas are a people without a history yet for at least two thousand years the Mayan culture flourished in Central America. The conquest didn’t erase the history of the people of Chiapas, it ignored it. All people, great and small, create histories. First there are trickling springs that seep from the cracks of ancient stones, joining to form small brooks, that empty into larger streams to eventually become rivers that flow from a region. The rivers are more evident.

     Luis Marin, one of Cortez’s officers arrived in Chiapas 1523. After three years of battle with the indigenous population Marin was not able to exert complete control. The Indians of the highlands resisted ferociously. Cortez dispatched a new military expedition under the command of Diego de Mazariegos who had more success. Faced with capture and inevitable slavery, many indigenous warriors chose death over the loss of freedom. In the Battle of Tepetchia, many Indians jumped to their deaths into the deep Cañon del Sumidero. After that indigenous resistance weakened. By the end of 1528, the conquest of Chiapas was complete, with both the Tzotzil and Tzeltal Indians subjugated and repressed. On March 31, 1528, Captain Mazariegos established Ciudad Real in the Valley of Jovel.  Ciudad Real was later renamed San Cristóbal de las Casas.

     On the afternoon of October 12, 1992, there was a protest march of indigenous peoples in San Cristóbal de las Casas. In front of the intricately carved sandstone façade of the temple of Santo Domingo stood the monument to Diego de Mazariegos, founder of the city. One man attacked the statue with a sledgehammer and then the crowd closed in reducing it to fragments, taken as souvenirs. One noted symbol of the conquest was erased, five hundred years after the bloody conquest and its subsequent oppressions.

                                                     Prologue

 

      It was said once in a book that people who dwell in the mountains theoretically live just a little longer than those below. They spin faster relative to those that live at lower altitudes because they are perched upon the margins of the planet,,, just as a bicycle wheel rim spins faster than its axel in order to cover the greater distance of its perimeter at the same time that the axel makes one revolution. The climate is different in the mountains,, usually more temperate. The sunlight is more intense in the thinner air. The atmosphere is compressed as it flows over the peaks and increases in velocity, distorting and stretching the shapes of the clouds it bears making them seem as if they were high jumpers leaping over a bar. Mountains have figured prominently in human mythology, as the lofty place where Gods roam. They are gateways to heaven,, and sometimes portals to hell. Spirits are said to haunt the peaks of these disturbances in the earth’s skin. People living in the mountains are like those living on an island, isolated,, sequestered. Their home, an atoll pierces an ocean of sky.

    

                                               

                         Chapter I

                  Primavera1890

 

     She often climbed Monte De Plata to collect plants. Monte de Plata was an an ancient volcano, elongated and flat topped, its sides deeply furrowed and blanketed in a quilt of pine and oak. It was called Monte De Plata not because there were deposits of silver but because of its color in the afternoons when the afternoon sun struck the bunches of ocote needles. Then the trees resembled a sheeps rolling fleece glistening argentine. On the way up, close to the path, she passed a small deep stagnant pool, edged in thicket and viney arabesques,  just a saturated pocket in the mountainside that yielded special plants, not suited to the higher richer well drained forest. The mountain was an agreeable place.The summit’s deep friable soil supported an old growth woodland, moist all of the year, which provided a good habitat for gathering. Where a broad crowned oak or a tall tubular ocote had long ago crashed to the earth having perished from old age or strikes by lightning, vast holes were torn in the thick forest canopy which allowed wide shafts of light to enter illuminating portions of the woodland floor. The now prostrate rotting trunks were smoothed and muted by deep carpets of moss, ferns, treelets, and a diverse assortment of plants. It was early yet, perhaps 11:30, and the day was growing hot. Her bags of ixtle were almost filled with many small sheaves each neatly tied with a sedge leaf. Cloak fern, deer’s tongue, and gorse had been taken from the wetter areas. From the forest she gleaned pokeweed, wild geranium, pimpernel, burr cucumber, verbena, heliotrope, nightshade, and much more.

     “The foraging has been fruitful by God’s good grace”, she said to herself.

     A fresh breeze aroused the trees from their apathy and they began to whisper, declaring their presence.

 

     They are gossiping about their neighbors”,,,, she thought, a little amused.

    

     She began to move towards the path taking a few steps when a sound rent the air. Chi,,,, Chi,,, Chi,, Chi, ta chiiiiiiiii.  A rattle, like a vigorously shaken cup of hard dried peas penetrated the air. She knew immediately what it was but could not locate the source of the sound. It seemed to be coming from everywhere. The rattle grew in intensity accompanied by a hiss. She remained still and scanned the terrain before her,, then her eyes caught the slightest of movements. She had surprised a large albino cascabel, coiled  in the sunlight a few feet to her left on a large flat stone. Its long rattle stood erect vibrating rapidly.  She startled and a chill came over her but soon she recuperated her poise. Her mother had taught her composure in the face of any change in the landscape.

     She studied the snake with her eyes, assessing his behavior, then spoke aloud and deliberately with a courtesy backed by generations of reverence .  

     “Ahh, Q’uq’umatz, it is You, feathered prince of the creation, Knowledgeable One, good day Master,, You who are the Lord of change,, I honor Thee,, always,, and I ask pardon for this trespass.”  She began to move cautiously to her right away from the snake while still speaking, now a little more submissively. “I have not come to do harm, for You can see I am only a lowly collector of plants, a healer of Your progeny,,, those You have created. I humbly ask Your permission to allow me my work. Let me say that I for one do not believe all that is said of Your fierceness, but even if what they say is true, You are the great transformer and are always capable of a change of heart,, and You know me, as I am Thy respectful servant. If You will allow me to pass, when I return I will make offerings unto You of zapote, cane liquor, and pumpkin.” She saw that the snake followed her movements with its large diamond head as if he were listening to her plea. His tongue slithered in and out as it probed the air. The rattle ceased. When she had edged herself six meters away from the snake, she bowed to him and said in gratitude, “Thank You, lordly One, we have each made our promises. I will honor my vow. For seven days I will make offerings unto You.” 

    

 

    

     When she reached the path she made her way angling down along a route that ran below an exposed sheer rock face to a familiar spring that emanated near the ground beneath a large square smooth expanse of stone on the edge of a wide path. Water collected in a small clear pool flecked with grayish pieces of limestone that stood out against the dark bottom On the other side of the path where the runlet exited down the hillside, the constant trickle disappeared into the soil and tangled roots, however the water that was perpetually seeping into the earth had left a wide trail of green for a great distance on either side and there sustained columbine, mint, stinging nettle, and horsetail.

     The pool was like a tiny lake whose shoreline was populated with feather foil and fairy moss. Here, in the shade she would rest, eat, and quench her thirst before returning to her pueblo. She emancipated her hair from her tight braids and let it loosely fall onto her shoulders as she bent over the pool regarding her reflection for a long moment. The spring marked the time dripping haphazardly from a large patch of spongy saturated plants pegged to the stone. Cupping her hands she dipped them into the pool disturbing the surface, creating wavelets upon which floated her distorted image. She applied cool water to her face and neck,  filled her gourd, and drank deeply. The water was fresh and delightfully tasteless like water at its best. All was perfect and tranquil. The sound of a primavera calling his mate gave depth to the forest.

     She crouched before water and woods for a moment awash in satisfaction yet before she could reach for her cache of food, a sharp sound trespassed upon the lush moment. She could hear the scrape and clop of a horse’s hooves on the stony path. She stiffened with apprehension and quickly scuffled to her feet. She haphazardly tried to arrange her ixtle bags. A horse snorted and sniggered as he and his rider came up and into view. It was a high stepping large chestnut and white paint. The rider ducked to avoid some limbs. The movement drew her attention away from the paint and towards him. "He wore high black leather boots, a long loose sleeved flaxen shirt, and coffee colored riding breeches. His saddle and stirrups were studded with silver conchos. The spurs of silver and colored rhythm beads adorned with small silver bells jingled, sending out a bright metallic sound. The walnut butt of a rifle protruded from a scabbard tied to the saddle.

     She had been surprised by his jingling presence and stared, yet at once sensed her gaze was indelicate, perhaps even indolent and quickly returned her eyes to the the ground before her. The horse’s mouth was lathered in spittle and his nose, which was tightly reined almost touched his arched neck, while his head swayed from side to side with the rider’s restraint. As it came to a stop the horse moved slightly sideways while high trotting in place. She faced them, silent, eyes almost imperceptibly downward, intimidated by the size of horse and horseman. The rider raised his head slightly surveying the woman before him her hair freely flowing down as if he had caught her at some mischief.

    “Well, well, well”, he repeated resting on the horn of his saddle. “What have we here,,,,, a dark one,, and, unbraided.”

     She did not understand his words for she spoke only Tzotzil. The saddle creaked like a new fire as he slowly dismounted. He led the horse to the water. The thirsty animal bent and immediately began to satisfy its thirst. It immersed its nose up to its nostrils, sucking loudly as little islands of lathery spittle, separated from its mouth and floated upon the pool. The rider then loosely tied the horse to a nearby bush.

     “This is a beautiful place, is it not? All stop here for the water.” He dismounted and strutted towards her and squatted before the spring in front of her.  His tall leather boots stretched and creaked. He began to tap his goad upon his palm slowly shaking his head as if agreeing with his own words, and repeated in a low primeval voice “yes hija, the water here is the best in all my countryside,,, cool,, clean,, refreshing. He stopped speaking, turned his head, revising her meager possessions, then began again while indicating her bags of ixtle with his goad. “I see you are collecting herbs. From where do you come?”

     She was silent, still, with a cold abstracted look which bolstered his social bearing. Five hundred years of domination had bestowed upon him indignancy and unalienable rights, now practically a genetically altered state. The same five hundred had relegated her to a submissive role that imprisoned even the slightest movements of her face. She must be blank, not to incite his rage.

     “You are mute”,, he said his voice rising with a slight chuckle. “No I think not,, you cannot understand a word of what I am saying,,,,,,  another ignorant indio,,, but a fine specimen, handsome even,,,, that is true. You indios are a different breed of human.”

     He continued his dissertation feeling free to express himself for they were alone. He was masked by this remote place and her dumbness to his words. She stood motionless assessing the menacing sound of his phrases and even though she could not understand she recognized the domination in their tone.

     “What plants have you gathered little one? You and your kind know. Once we called on one of your curas when our son was ill with an unbreakable fever. He gave him a mixture of herbs and teas and warbled many unfamiliar sounds. The boy’s fever however did finally break.”

      There was a pause as he seemed pensive.

      “Perhaps we could live side by side can we not, or no? Not like dogs who argue over a scrap of fat but like animals that know their belonging. There is a social contract written by man yet signed by God.”

     He looked up, his eyes squinting in a philosophical haze.

     “Forgive me and my inebriation for I am afflicted with years of neglect and need help for to heal. I for one do not believe you are all bestial and it is after all we who have given you a life. We landed here by God’s will,,,”

     There was a pause in the parody, then he resumed with renewed vigor,         “It is a clear case of a civilized society entering a primeval realm”. He paused and then added, “Look, I have seen you give yourselves to anyone for a mirror or a handful of beads,,, coram populo,,,  originally Jews I have read,,, dark and dirty and smooth skinned.”

      He then took note of the smoothness of the flesh of her exposed upper arms. He stared at her midsection. She cautiously bent stiffly and slowly down and awkwardly began to gather her things.

     “Wait hija, don’t leave just yet”, and as he said this he brought his goad around and touched her ankle like a doorstop. He seemed to enjoy his own discursive soliloquy and wanted her audience and to keep her in his gaze. He rose and she slowly stood more upright her things amassed haphazardly in her arms. Her gourd fell to the ground. The horse whinnied and snorted.

      She slowly bent down again to recover the gourd but he quickly spun on the balls of his feet and arrived first. They both slowly stood while facing one another. The scent of leather plugged her nostrils. The tart self indulgent sound of his words and his ultimate actions triggered fear. He held the gourd not really offering it. She managed to extend two fingers into the mouth of the gourd and gently took it from his unwilling hands having to bow slightly towards him in order to maintain hold of her possessions..

     “You are handsome morena even with your age”, He touched her left calf with the goad. She reacted a little defensively yet cautiously closed her legs more tightly at the same time moving her calf out of reach. He pushed forward again touching her calf another time toying with her, edging her sarong up matter of factly as if inspecting goods, then letting it fall back into place once again. They stood, two distinct birds, not moving for some time. Then he brought the goad upwards barely touching her clothing, up across her belly and stopping just beneath her breasts. She trembled slightly, and recoiled. He pressed the goad harder to her body focusing his gaze trying to penetrate her husk and eviscerate her essence.

     “Be still”, he blared, and she stilled from the tone of his voice.

     He arrived at her breasts lifting them a little with the goad and gently held their weight balanced upon the shaft. He slid it slowly up over their roundness catching her nipples which retsrained for an instant the goad’s upward progress. He advanced stopping just beneath her chin forcing her to raise her head slightly. His head was bent sideways as if he were evaluating a horse. Her eyes looked down at the goad with a mixture of defiance and fear but she withdrew the former submerging an assertive attitude as fast as it had arrived. It was then she knew. It was at that moment that she began to disengage from her feelings, to seek another place where she could bear whatever was to come.

     He snorted, “This is My spring, morena, it is part of my family for more than 100 years and all who come to drink here must pay me for its use.” He was close now and the odor of sweat and alcohol coldly unfastened her. He changed his tone and feigned softnesss and brushed her hair with the back of his left hand as he let the goad drop to his side. She detected smell of tobacco on his hand. She thought at that instant she might break and run but she knew better. He might run her down with his horse, and he had the rifle. He was filled with tyranny and high station and kindled with desire. He deliberately pressed himself to her so she could feel his manhood. “Mira nada mas con esto caloron y su pulgero que traen de vestido”, speaking now in a kind of denigrating growl. The goad spun about with lightning speed and struck her on the upper thigh with a resounding thwack. She was abruptly roused from her distance and brought back to the darkness. She took a step back and dropped her possessions. They fell helter skelter in a heap between the two of them. Surprised, he retreated slightly, instinctively offering more of his side than his front. She slowly and cautiously raised her hands, took a step back, then resolutely reached for the waist of her huipil with crossed arms and quickly pulled it up over her head baring her upper torso. He relaxed a little then regained his former poise, staring intently at her breasts excited even more now by her willing subjugation. He had been reaffirmed as man,, of all men, owner of a great hacienda, de gente y tierra, rico y todo abajo de su voluntad,, como un Rey.  He thought of the broad wallowing whores with whom he had romped in Ciudad Real, who gave themselves to him for a peso. He grew consumed with lust and distended. She released the waistband of her sarong and stood before him completely naked now staring out with hollow emptied eyes, and then placed her sarong and huipil reverently on the ground as if making her bed. She lay down upon her clothes on her back and raised her knees and spread her legs slightly with her arms at her side, motionless, like stilled paddles. She had made her decision, desecration would be a better than violence. She prayed silently that it would end quickly, and then for the second time since the arrival of horse and man she whisked herself away, to a another place without feeling, or mercy. She closed her eyes and disinherited herself from all her senses, falling into a chasm where she was untouchable replacing reality with an alternative to what was happening. She fell into pure blankness,,, peering up at an endless sky patterned with amorphous clouds, although now she was blinded to beauty, and she could hear her voice speaking a prayer but there was no sound. She saw the face of Q’uq’umatz, his tongue flicking,,,, you have broken your promise,,, and she felt a surge,,  a pulsating wetness,,, and then the wind abruptly arose clearing what remained of her consciousness and blew away all the debris that remained.

Sunday, August 21, 2022

Santo y El Remolino

      Santo always took the same path with his five cows from Teneria via the old trail to Malinalco. He climbed up past a small pasture of nopales that resembled lollipops until he encountered the steep incline then turned hard right transversing the belly of the mountain towards a pass between El Balcon de San Elias, part of Nixcongo, and La Campana, the side of the mountain where he presently walked. Ahead, the ocotes and oaks gave way to a corner, a plate that served up the sky like a seamless blue mole, where the path widened revealing a clearing and a reliable patch of fresh grass, even now in October. It was a good place to stop and let the cows feed before resuming his journey. 

     That day seemed perfect. The sky was blue, undisturbed, and the view towards Tenancingo was spectacular. When the cows saw the grass their slow motion gait turned to a trot as a yearning for greenpasture consumed their conciousness. Santo corraled his cows with his stick as they trotted towards the fresh feed. After all he didn't want them to near the steep incline between the two mountains. Santo sat stared out across the valley towards Cristo Rey and thought of the sermon by Padre Carlos two sundays ago. He peroused over a quote from Saint Francis de Assisi. “Lord, help me to live this day, quietly, easily. To lean upon Thy great strength, trustfully, restfully. To wait for the unfolding of Thy will, patiently, serenely. To meet others, peacefully, joyously. To face tomorrow, confidently, courageously.” 

       Santo felt content. He smiled at himself and the lush landscape, like a loving pillow after a day of hard work. He sat in silence for some time. His thoughts were interrupted by the familiar tearing and crunching of grass by his cows. They moved in slow motion intent on their feed. He watched them and thought, they are dumb,,, but noble,,, like Abel his cousin with sindromo de downs.  They sensed his respect and he knew their minds. 

     Santo noticed the sky had begun to change, the wind having picked up a little. It was time to move on. Up ahead he still must pass "the funnel", a fold in the mountain beside a deep rift between El Balcon and La Campana, where La Campana descended into the cut between the two mountains. It was in this place, like a graveyard, that many trees had been shattered by wind that often screamed down from La Campana routing itself into natural bottleneck howling as it gained momentum pouring into the chasm between the two mountains wreaking havoc until, like a large breaking wave, ran up against the other side tearing itself asunder. 

     Santo gathered the reluctant cows wielding his stick and calling, "Heyep, andale, we need to move on, the day is waning". They trodded, as the wind increased. He heard some thunder and his urgency to pass the the funnel drove him with more alacrity. Tranquility was just a few folds of the mountain away. He thought of Padre Carlos and Saint Francis. "You call it a sin that I love the dog above all else. The dog stayed with me in the storm, the man, not even in the wind". The wind suddenly doubled arriving in crushing waves that bent the ocotes in obedience,, yet they seemed to protest their wrenching in screaming creaks. The cows gathered as best they could on the narrow path, transfixed, occiasionally bellowing. Santo spiritedly began to pray. "Oh Señor, te suplico que dejes pasar hoy a este humilde servidor y a su pobre rebaño con tu protección todo poderosa. Prometo volver y rendir homenaje, hacer una ermita para honrar tu voluntad. Padre nuestro que está en los cielos...." The wind gathered itself and then exhaled bravely yet this breath seemed wearied perhaps having been itself tormented by the Santos's supplication. The landscape slowly returned to its former tranquility. 

     Santo kept his word. He fashioned an idol of The Son out of white cement and cera fina and attached it to a large tree. To this day people sit under this tree, below that now worn image of Christ knowing the legend of Santos, seeking that tranquility that comes after the storm has passed.